Letting Go of the Myth of Progress

 

Me in the Kitchen

I was meeting recently with some friends on Zoom. Because of the latest Omicron wave of the pandemic, so much of our social life has gone back to virtual meetings for the time being, and the topic we were discussing was what our goals and dreams for the future were, once this Omicron wave subsides. I thought it was a fitting topic for the beginning of January, when so many of us set goals for the upcoming year.

I used to be one of those people. Although I didn't make New Year's resolutions per se, at the beginning of each year I typically took some time to review the past year's life events and accomplishments, and then wrote up a series of goals for the upcoming year. 

In true Type-A fashion, these were not vague wish statements such as: "I hope to exercise a little more this year." No indeed. I wrote out goals that were specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely, or SMART goals. Examples of this type of goal is: "I will walk for a minimum of 20 minutes a day, 6 days per week." Or, I will sustain an average of 9,000 steps per day each week."*

My goal list usually consisted of 5-7 main categories, each broken down into subcategories, with goal statements under those. For example, the categories might be: Work, Health, Creativity, Social Life, Family, and Travel. Under Health, I might have subcategories such as Fitness, Food, and Work-Life Balance, and then under each one of those, I would develop SMART goals, often with associated timelines. I have written about this goal-setting process and some of the stumbling blocks here. 

A Sunny Day at Mount Washington

 

So, anyways, when I was thinking about our discussion question in advance before meeting on Zoom, I was stumped. I had set no goals for 2022. I felt no desire to set goals for 2022. Was it because the past two years taught me that there is no point in setting goals, because as soon as we make a plan for travel or to get together with friends and family, another wave of COVID comes along with new public health restrictions that kibosh everything?

No, I am still a great believer in goals and plans. I would not have had the interesting life I've had if I'd been goalless throughout my life.

I used to visualize my life as a trek up a mountain. Each time I reached a summit, I would see another peak appear in front of me, and then I'd shift my aim to reach that next peak. My life was a life of endless striving, always going for the next big thing. My personal myth of progress.

Notice the past tense. Now that I've retired, have I given up? Am I just sitting here waiting for death? Certainly, in my younger years, that was how I dichotomized it -- move forward making progress, or sit still and fail/die. 

Abby with Stick

As I've settled into retirement, I've come to see a number of things quite differently. For example, I've stepped away from the academic life, which in the first few years of retirement included doing research, giving talks, publishing, reviewing manuscripts, and supervising students. It's time. I don't miss it. And I don't feel like less of a person because I'm no longer striving toward that next scholarly peak or adding another line to my CV. I climbed that mountain and now it's behind me.

I have been sitting with something Rob said to me. "Why are you always wanting to rush off somewhere else? We live in a beautiful part of the world in a perfectly nice house. Can't you just be content to stay here and enjoy what we have?"

His comments lay bare my myth of progress. If I always have my sights set on the next destination (summit, accomplishment, goal completion), do I even have time to notice where I am right now? That is Zen wisdom, to live in the moment, because the moment is all we really have. 

So I said to my Zoom friends, "I didn't set goals for the year. I think I'm letting go of striving and the myth of progress."

But does a leopard change its spots? Maybe the real truth of it is that work obligations used to suck up most of my waking hours. Now that I'm retired and able to spend time walking trails every day with Abby, cooking healthy meals, sleeping enough, spending time with friends and family, hanging out with Rob, writing, skiing, painting, doing yoga, and so on (and hopefully travelling again soon), I actually have the life I always wanted. I don't have to set goals to get here. I'm here.

Christmas 2021 Photos 

One brother and all three of my kids were here with their families for Christmas this year, and we had a wonderful time together. The good life.

With Daughters

Christmas Dinner

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grandson

Son and his Fiancee

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* Why 9,000 rather than 10,000 steps a day? Because I had read a research article somewhere that evaluated whether the popular press had settled on 10,000 steps because it was a nice round number or because there was research evidence that 10,000 steps was, in fact, the best daily walking target for most people. The conclusion of the article was that, for most people, any increase in daily steps yielded health benefits, and specifically for women over 60, an average of 9,000 steps per day yielded the optimum health gain for the time spent (with daily steps beyond 9,000 still beneficial, but at a diminishing rate).

Leaving 2020 Behind

Rock Formations at Jack Point

Each year as the old year rolls into a new year, I usually take some time to reflect. I am not a believer in New Year's resolutions. But I do like to look back at the year we have just had and think about the highlights and low-lights, and take note of any big changes. 

Often, I'll also spend some time thinking about the upcoming year. Although I've been known to write out specific goals organized under categories such as "Writing," "Art," Family & Social Life," "Health," and so forth, with numbered subheadings and bullet points, sometimes I simply write a general statement about my hopes for what the year might hold. 

But this year as the old year waned, I found did not want to revisit 2020 and the pandemic experience. Of course, we're still in the middle of it. 

And as I tried to think about 2021, not a single goal floated into my mind. Who knows what's going to happen next with respect to COVID-19? And for that matter, with American politics, systemic racism, and climate change? The experience of living through this pandemic for much of a year has served as a reminder that my personal control over the future is quite limited.

But although I might have thought I spent the entire year fretting about daily new cases of COVID or staring at screens, the photos in my camera tell a different story. I have written about the first half of 2020 here. This post covering July-December completes my account of 2020.

The summer started badly with the death of our beloved old dog, Kate. 

Summer Camping

Tree House

In the summer, the daily new case rate here was down to single digits, so public health relaxed some restrictions. We were able to go on some local camping trips. We especially enjoyed a short camping trip to Malcolm Island with one of my daughters. 

Our original destination was closer to home, but, once the campgrounds were allowed to open, everyone had the same idea and campsites were hard to get. Malcolm Island, near Port McNeill, is one of our favourite places and we had a lovely grassy site just across the road from the ocean. My daughter pitched her tent beside our camper.

   

Bere Point Hike

Whale-watching Blind

 

 Trip to the North

Near Lilloett

During the last half of August, we made a trip to northern British Columbia to visit family and friends. We were in our little house on wheels -- our truck and camper.

After spending several days visiting our northern grandchildren and their parents, we continued on to Terrace, a small city in northern BC where we used to live.

Although we didn't see everyone we would have wished, it was so wonderful to connect with a few family and friends.

Ferry Island

Watson Lakes Hike

We also revisited some familiar hikes and river walks. Unfortunately, almost the entire time that we were in the northern part of the province, the weather was rainy and cold.

We left Terrace and spent several days in Smithers, visiting my brothers and celebrating one brother's special day with him and his family. 

Always the intrepid hikers,  we did a mountain hike to Crater Lake, braving rain, wind, and sleet. This was in August!

Crater Lake Hike

 

Nieces

We returned to Vancouver Island via an overnight ferry from Prince Rupert. Despite the pandemic restrictions, it was still a beautiful trip. We stayed in a nice stateroom with a porthole that framed the view.

Although usually during the summer months, BC Ferries runs a large ferry through the inland passage, because of the reduced number of travellers, we went on a smaller boat this time. For safety, we spent most of the trip either outside, or in our stateroom. The food service on the small ferry was very limited. 

Around Home

In the early part of the summer, I took an all-day introductory kayak course. After that, I began to look in earnest for a secondhand sea kayak. You can read about the results of my search here. 

Parksville

I continued to do many walks and short hikes in areas nearby. For example, we did countless walks at the Parksville Community Beach, where I snapped this sunset photo one evening with Rob.

Oreo Tarts

Oliver

I tried out some new recipes, including these yummy tarts recommended by Donna at Retirement Reflections. I also have made the winter squash salad described in Donna's blog post -- yummy as well.

We have lavished attention on Oliver, our sole remaining pet. In this photo, he is wearing some jewellery made for him by my grandsons. 

Grandmothering

One of the unexpected joys of this pandemic has been spending more time with my two grandsons. Childcare options have been greatly curtailed because of the pandemic restrictions. I have been providing  part-time childcare while my daughter has worked and gone back to school. 

Fall Becomes Winter

As daily cases rose over the fall, more stringent restrictions were put in place again. Because of my child care role, I still see my grandson's family. However, we can no longer see anyone else, except outdoors with physical distancing. 

At Thanksgiving, we met at Neck Point for a family hike, as we couldn't all gather for a big dinner.

 

We continue to explore trails and shorelines near home. I sometimes meet with friends for physically -distanced hikes and walks. For example, I met up with Deb who blogs at The Widow Badass for a hike to Jack Point recently. 

Deb and Petroglyphs

Rob and I celebrated New Year's Day by hiking the trails at Moorecroft Park. It was rainy, of course.

As I look through my photos and share them with you, one thing becomes very clear. Although it has been an unusual year, and a difficult year, life went on. My life was mostly filled with joy. And that joy took the form of friends, family, and nature. 

Happy Highlights in a Bleak Year

The Big Picture

There is no doubt that 2020 was a tough year. More than 83 million people worldwide were infected with covid-19 in 2020, and more than 1.8 million have died. Every one of us knows someone who has had the disease, and even if the lives of those close to us were spared, we have heard the tragic stories of so many who have passed away, including, especially, our elders. 

Add to that the extreme wildfires in Australia and California, the explosion in Beirut, the murder of George Floyd, and the stomach-churning in-your-face pandemonium of American politics, and it is clear that 2020 has been a bleak year. 

Of course, there also have been heroes, collaborative efforts, and sweeping changes that have reaffirmed my faith in human nature and science. 

 Thank-you to the physicians, nurses, other health care workers, and long term care home staff who have worked so hard to save lives during this pandemic, even while putting their own health and well-being at risk. 

Thank-you to governments and public health leaders who have made the right choices during the pandemic, whether by quickly allocating funding to workers forced to stay at home, or by making the hard decisions to order unpopular public health restrictions before our hospitals were overwhelmed. I count our public health officer here in BC, Dr. Bonnie Henry, among the heroes of the pandemic.

Thank-you to the essential workers who have made it possible for others of us to stay home. As well, I thank the everyday heroes, my friends and neighbours, who have trusted science and chosen to comply with quarantines, physical-distancing guidelines, and mask wearing to protect themselves and others around them, day after day after day. It has been hard, and will continue to be hard for some months to come. 

Thank-you to the scientists who have pulled out all the stops to develop safe vaccines in record time. This accomplishment has involved a level of international scientific collaboration that is unprecedented. It shows we can work together when we understand the gravity of an problem. Let's hope the same level of dedication and global collaboration will next be applied to the existential problems of climate change and species extinction. 

At a Personal Level

I have been very fortunate in most ways throughout this pandemic, and for that I am deeply grateful. Yet, even so, there have been some sad times, personally, during 2020. Our beloved dog, Kate, died in July. Shortly after, our cat became ill and his health continues to decline. Our retaining wall at the back of our property failed, and repairing it will be difficult and expensive. We've missed being able to spend time with friends and family in person during much of the year. 

Yet, in the grand scheme of things, these are minor and temporary wrinkles. 

Overall, for me 2020 has been a year of much new learning and many happy moments (in spite of the dire pandemic backdrop). I realized Rob and I have had many joyful experiences in 2020 when I looked in my phone to find a few photos to illustrate this blog and ended up choosing 50!

Hawaii

 

 

 

 

 

We made a trip to Hawaii in January of the year with Rob's daughter and son-in-law and our two grandchildren. 

 

We had a wonderful time together, and we thank our lucky stars that we travelled when we did, before the Sars2 corona virus had begun to spread widely. 

Under the Banyan Tree

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We loved spending time with the grandkids.

Bamboo

 

 

 

The island of Maui is beautiful. I found the varied topography fascinating, from the beach, to the tropical rain forest, to the top of the Haleakala volcano.

 

 

 

 

We were in full tourist mode in Maui, and we saw a lot.

While we were there, we began hearing on the news about a new and lethal virus spreading throughout China. Like so many other North Americans, we hadn't yet realized that we were on the verge of a worldwide pandemic.

Playing with Trucks on top of Haleakala

 In the meantime, we hiked, snorkeled, swam, kayaked, and went out on boat cruises. We marvelled at the sea life at the aquarium, and swam with turtles. 

We had a condo with a kitchen, so we breakfasted at the condo, and then usually made a picnic to take along on our day trips.  

Most evenings, we enjoyed trying out the various restaurants on Maui.

I have been to Maui before, but it was many years ago. So I was intrigued to revisit places I remembered from that trip.

We were lucky to have fabulous weather while we were there. Many evenings, we walked through the parks admiring the sunset. I have dozens of sunset photos, but I decided to only include the one. 

Our trip to Maui was the last foreign travel we will do for a long time. 

 

Enjoying the Outdoors on Vancouver Island

Back home in Canada, we had a wonderful time skiing at our local ski hill during February and the first half of March. In fact, we had the skis packed in the truck and were about to leave to drive to the ski hill on the day everything closed down in BC in mid-March.

We checked the website one last time before we left (it's a 75 minute drive), and found out that the ski hill was closed because of covid-19 restrictions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We live on beautiful Vancouver Island, so we switched to other outdoor activities.

 

In the initial six weeks of the pandemic restrictions, everyone was encouraged to stay home and only to go out among people as little as possible. However, outdoor activities were allowed, as long as we employed physical distancing. 

We are fortunate to live in a semi-rural area, where there are lots of trails through the forest and along the ocean shore. 

 As it became safe to do so, we began to meet up with friends and my adult kids for hikes and picnics. 

Hiking with my Son

 I realized that for me, not seeing my kids and grandkids throughout the spring months has been the most difficult period of the pandemic so far.

Hiking with my Daughter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Although we talked on the phone and used videoconferencing, it was not like being together in person. 

In the summer months, the numbers of daily new cases in BC were in the single digits. So many of the earlier restrictions were lifted.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I helped my daughter out providing part-time childcare while she worked. I loved having "Grandma time" with the two boys!

So, although it was a terrible year in many ways, for me, the first six months of 2020 also had many happy highlights. During this pandemic, I have learned that being able to spend time with those I love, and also spending time in nature are things that allow me to find joy even in difficult times.